Matthew McKinnon knew something was wrong when he went to catch a football during his high school practice in Surrey B.C., in the spring of 2012 and completely missed it.
McKinnon, 28, who was in Grade 11 at the time, said he was experiencing double vision, nausea and headaches. Following that practice, his parents took him to the family doctor where he was prescribed anti-nausea medication that was usually only given to cancer patients.
“It was a foreshadowing of things to come,” McKinnon told Global News.
Even with medication and a chiropractor’s visit, his health declined rapidly over the next few days.
“Finally, my parents decided that we should go in for a CT scan where I was misdiagnosed with something called sinusitis, [and was] sent home with medication. And over that weekend I had what we could only describe as seizures, and my parents decided to take me back in,” he said.
It was then that a CT scan found a tumour in his brain, and he was immediately taken to BC Children’s Hospital and had emergency brain surgery.
“And then five days later, on Father’s Day, I had my second brain surgery,” he said.
The ‘dark’ days that followed
Often, when someone receives a cancer diagnosis, they find themselves navigating the sickness alone, emotionally and physically, explained Carly Fleming, a registered psychotherapist based in Hamilton, Ont.
“Just the word cancer is laden with so much fear, and very often there can be hopelessness,” she said, adding this may be more convoluted when young people are diagnosed with the disease.
“You’ve got this confluence of practical things to solve with this deep emotional issue. And now you have a developmental issue. So depending on your age, there are still developmental milestones coming, your brain isn’t fully developed yet, your relationships aren’t fully developed yet,” she said.
“The depths of that is it’s even deeper than it is when it’s an adult who gets a diagnosis.”
Matthew McKinnon in the hospital following his brain cancer diagnosis.
Matthew McKinnon
After a cancer diagnosis, Flemming said many young adults and children might struggle more with maintaining friendships, coping with losses, and facing the potential loss of fertility.
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And this is where McKinnon said he found himself following his diagnosis in high school.
After his surgeries, he spent around three weeks in recovery at the hospital before he was able to go home. During that time, he said, a team of doctors gave him a treatment plan of 30 sessions of radiation to his head and spine, as well as six rounds of chemotherapy. This regimen persisted until midway through his Grade 12 year.
During this time, McKinnon said he began to experience life-changing effects of treatment including a permanent doubling of his vision and severe mental health challenges.
The doctors performing surgery on McKinnon.
Matthew McKinnon
“I had plans to go [to school] for civil engineering, and I had hopes of playing soccer with a team I’d been with since I was five years old. And all of those things immediately got thrown up in the air,” he said.
“It was disruptive and challenging. Those dark times were very, very challenging. It was the hopelessness, the depression and anxiety focused around my cancer.”
Although his treatment ended in January 2013, McKinnon said his cancer journey didn’t end there. For example, he was told by a social worker that because of the high levels of radiation he went through, there was a chance that he would be infertile.
This is one of the struggles that young cancer patients have to face, Fleming said.
As a psychotherapist who works with cancer patients, she finds that a lot of people focus on the “practical survival” of getting through the treatments. And once that ends, then comes the need to look back and try and dissect the trauma and emotional weight that comes with cancer.
“Even in the best of circumstances, your life looks different now,” she said. “You’ve changed, you’re no longer the person you were pre-cancer. How you travel through the world can look really different.”
Every day 655 people in Canada are diagnosed with cancer, and 238 people die from it, the Canadian Cancer Society estimates.
But there is hope and progress, thanks to improved treatments and therapies. McKinnon credits the improved research and treatments in the cancer sphere for saving his life.
“When I was diagnosed in 2012, it was a 90-per cent success,” he said. “Had I been diagnosed only 10 years before in 2002, it would have been a terminal diagnosis. So for myself, it’s that research that took place in just those 10 years that allowed me to still be here.”
McKinnon, who is now cancer-free, acknowledged the invaluable support of his family during his treatment, as well as the assistance provided by the Canadian Cancer Society. Through their programs, he said found solace and companionship among others sharing similar experiences.
Matthew McKinnon and his wife Danica.
Matthew McKinnon
He also credited the cancer diagnosis for giving him the gift of resilience.
“I want others to know that the suffering that they go through, it’s difficult, and it’s hard and it’s real, and that there is a lot of possibility to come from that. And to lean on the individuals in their lives and to recognize sometimes we can’t see the good that might come from a hard situation,” he said.
His cancer diagnosis led him to Ottawa where he met his wife. And despite being told he may not be able to have kids, he has a two-year-old son named James.
“There is good to come. My wife Danica and I have been married for nearly three years now. We met through church here in Ottawa. And she’s definitely one of the biggest joys and lights in my life, as well as our son James,” he said.
When someone is struggling with cancer, Fleming stresses the normalcy of feeling depressed or anxious.
Matthew McKinnon, his wife Danica and their son James.
Matthew McKinnon
And while some people may not have the support of family or friends, some therapists have training experience who can help, she said.
“I am one of those therapists. I work with many of them, and it can be an incredible place to find support,” she said.
“Nobody goes through cancer without significant emotional distress. Nobody does. And so it isn’t that there’s something broken when a person is struggling emotionally. It isn’t that there’s some kind of a big problem. It is entirely the norm.”
